Asexuality

Asexual, Aromantic, Demisexual, Greysexual, Sexual. These are some of the labels I found a few years back, trying to figure out what the hell I was (sexually).

Asexual: someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction

Aromantic: someone who doesn’t experience romantic attraction

Demisexual: some one who only experience sexual attraction when they have a strong romantic connection to another

Graysexuals: rarely experience sexual attraction (like maybe once or twice in their life)

What they don’t mean

they don’t mean that the person hasn’t mature, that the person hasn’t found the right person, that they don’t masturbate, or that they have been abused. Some asexual masturbate, some don’t, some have been abused, some haven’t. some might find a person in the future (but don’t count on it) but that doesn’t invalidate their sexual identity. Nor does it mean that these terms don’t exist (as defined here).

It doesn’t actually indicate whether an individual has sex, nor does an individual having sex indicate that they don’t identify with these terms. Because these labels cannot be identified by what another person perceives, rather it’s how a person feels, how they identify. Why? simply because the ability to identify as such lies solely with the person’s emotions and interpretation of those emotions. Unless you are a psychic you cannot know why some one says “I’m actually curious how sex feels”. OR the reverse. if someone says “I have no interest in having sex/dating” you do not have the right to tell them that “they just haven’t met the right person yet” you are not s psychic, don’t invalidate them. The only person who can say whether the label actually fits is them. And they are not obligated to explain their thoughts, motivation, or feelings to whom ever demands that they do, or decides that because of something they said that they don’t fit the label.

there is also the asexual elitists, who from what I’ve seen hold their own definition of asexual. Usually it’s some one who is an asexual aromantic who doesn’t experience sexual desire (doesn’t get horny) and does nothing that that person deems “sexual”. As I’m probably overly biasĀ  about those I’ve encountered, I will say nothing more then this, except that their views hinder the ace agenda more then help it. (by the way the ace agenda is simply/essentially that we want people to know we exist, and not tell us we are mentally ill or late bloomers)

 

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