If You Think Somethings Wrong Tell Them

So a week or two ago mental illness came up in my family. I won’t dredge up the whole conversation, but it really upset me. While I disagree with their claim that my whole family suffers from depression I will not dismiss the possibility completely (given the fact that my brother thinks the entire population does, I’m not sure they grasp what it means. And when they say things like that it diminishes my pain, via the way they say it). What pisses me off is my grandma knowing my whole life that I have anxiety issues, and that I developed depression before I was even 11 and thought the best thing to do was “let me figure out something was wrong” I was maybe 11 when I tried to commit suicide, I struggled with self worth, thinking that yeah while people cared it was out of blood not because I was worth something. Struggled in so many ways, just to stay afloat, because I had been told by my mother, my all controlling mother that nothing was wrong. Thinking that something was wrong with me (self worth, not the “I’m mentally ill” way) to cause everyone to treat me the way they did. My mother even claimed they did.
Well you know what. I did tell my mother I thought I was depressed. According to my grandma I should have just known better.

So point of this story. If you think some one might be struggling with a mental illness say something. Else really you are just as responsible for their pain as the cause. If you bring it up to them or their family you could prevent a suicide, or self harm. You could make it easier for them to successfully get treatment (the longer some one suffers from mental illness the less likely they are to fully recover, if they can. And the more likely they are to relapse). And if or when they do find out you knew, well there will be consequences, especially if you are really close to the person or family. Though the more supportive you are, the less insensitive things you say, the better things will go for you. In my grandma’s case, well she just might lose a granddaughter, because I don’t know if I can forgive her this. She might just join my mother and brother in the list of “people I will no longer speak to when I’m completely independent”



5 comments on “If You Think Somethings Wrong Tell Them

  1. I, too, am here because of your reference to my blog. Thank you.
    I have to agree that having someone act as a sounding board for our actions can often help those with mental illness, as well as those without. I have found in my personal experience, and I have no facts to support this theory, that those who are mentally ill are more apt to be more self-aware; to be more conscious of how their actions may be effecting others.
    I have tried the technique of making people aware of their actions when they weren’t diagnosed, and I found I was often met with aggression. However, when someone has accepted their diagnosis (denial is a tricky thing), they often seem more open to such suggestions. Perhaps it’s apart of learning to live with the illness; a coping technique, or maybe we diagnosed people pick it up through therapy. Either way, I am happy to have this self awareness and I also truly appreciate it when other people point out my actions.

  2. You added my link to the related posts, thank you, and that’s how I got here. I know I have had problems the last few years – they just get worse and worse unattended (by professionals, you know?). But people sweeping me under the rug when they could easily have said “have you considered getting help?” Or…forbid they say “well your (relative) is worse than you, have you seen her? We sent her to xx recovery place, and you just make up your problems…” Yeah, no. I wish people would say something. I’ve been trying to fight it on my own for a very long time. I’m exhausted. It took a third party telling me I was greatly hurting a very dear person in my life for me to say “yep, I’m getting help, now, I don’t care if my family wants to keep me a secret.” Because I’m not Boo freaking Radley. (thanks for letting me rant a little bit, by the way).

  3. Very well put. Thank you for the reference to my blog. Like you, I’m troubled by how quiet everyone is about mental illness. Although we’re all raised to not say anything, you’re absolutely right that people need to say something when they suspect someone is struggling. Great post!

    • Yeah, and it’s even worse when the “sufferer” is a child and the person who knows something wrong is an adult. Like even if she went to my mom and my mom denied it, she could have done other things to get me help. Instead she actually made it worse (I might do another blog post detailing the whys about my decision to consider cutting her out of my life, or maybe just edit this one)

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