So lately I’ve been discussing my sexual orientation with others. And not just my own, but sexual orientation in general. The biggest thing I’ve noticed is how uninformed people are. How judgemental they are.
This also comes with an announcement, sort-of, I completely self Identify as an aromantic demisexual (before I was just going “well maybe”). Publicly it will remain aromantic asexual, I don’t feel like explaining that I intrinsically know that if I were able to develop deep lasting romantic bonds I would/could experience sexual attraction. I don’t want to confuse people more then I already do by identifying as a asexual (who happens to have a libido).
How does this relate to the discussion of sexual orientation? Demisexuality comes under fire a lot. Sexuals refuse to understand that when we say “yeah, if I form a bond with some one I might become sexually attracted to them”. They then like to claim we don’t understand sexuals and are offending them. Why? Because obviously we are assuming they are attracted to everybody who fits their sexual identity. Or because we are supposedly over estimating the number of people they are attracted to. The thing is, even if at this current time you are only attracted to 5 people that is more then any gray ace or demi will be attracted to at one time, Maybe even more then their whole life time.
Which is why they are included in the asexual spectrum which people argue against. In fact today someone told me that “they aren’t asexuals and they aren’t sexuals” and that is how I should explain it . But it’s not that simple. Sexuality is a spectrum, Check out the Kinsey scale for that. Asexuality is the same.
Another problem I find is people looking down on others for having a romantic orientation. Why? either because they don’t feel it’s necessary (they think that heteroromantics should identify as heterosexual for example, or someone who is heterosexual homoromantic should identify as bisexual). The other group do not realize (or I hope they don’t) that they also experience romantic attraction, and do not like it when asexuals compare sexual attraction to romantic attraction with equal weight given to each. Both groups feel like it’s only the sexual orientation that matters. Well so long as they think that the orientation is valid.
I wish educating people was easier. I wish I didn’t experience just as much hate, discrimination, and ignorance from the LGBT community as I do from the heterosexual community. But I am only one person. I just hope one day this will change, and people will respect asexuality more then they do now.
- Challenges faced by asexual spectrum survivors of sexual violence (part 2) (asexualagenda.wordpress.com)
- Christianity and Asexuality (asexualagenda.wordpress.com)
- Coming to Terms… (dontkidnaptheprincess.wordpress.com)
- Tales of the Sexless (madelinericchiuto.wordpress.com)