Sexual Identity

Sexual identity is a really good term. Sadly it doesn’t mean what I think it should mean. it just means the sexual orientation you present to the world, regardless or your actions. The thing is, your actions don’t dictate orientation. So to me it’s pointless. But I love the term, and to me (since I didn’t know what it meant until I looked it up) it covers much more then your orientation.

To me your sexual identity encompasses everything that affects your sexual preferences. I mean there are parts of one’s sexuality that are not or shouldn’t be considered an orientation (I.E. fetishes, Polyamoury, touch preferences, etc). That doesn’t mean they aren’t vital to how you experience your sexuality. But as we are expanding (thank goodness) our sexual vocabulary, creating new and better labels, we need to think of new terms or re-purpose old ones to fit the needs of the world. One’s sexual identity is a complex thing, not necessarily something you share or that people can tell just from looking at you or seeing your partner. It would include all fetishes, relationship styles, sexual orientation, romantic orientation, libido status, willingness to have sex at the very least.  Though like one’s orientation it wouldn’t be something that is constrained by your actions, but rather self identifying these parts of your life.

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