Things No One Seems to Understand

What it’s like to be dependent on others for wheels, for things beyond shopping.

How hard/impossible it is to make commitments when you aren’t vehicle independent.

How hard/impossible it is to make commitments when you work a full time job, and your schedule/shifts change every weeks.

That even knowing your schedule doesn’t mean it won’t change even a day before the shift.

Which makes it impossible to get involved in the community.

What it’s like to ask people for help, when you are afraid you are asking too much or too frequently.

Even if you never ask.

What it’s like to worry that someone just feels sorry for you, and that’s why they won’t hang out with you, even when you know that is 90% unlikely. Or how to stop asking, if you think it might be true.

What it’s like to look at the phone, knowing¬† you have an important phone call to make, but can’t physically make yourself pick it up. Because you know, it’s not that hard to beat anxiety. Everyone is a little anxious at making phone calls…

What it’s like to be afraid of the future, because you might loose your sense of worth. And that sends you spiraling.


Racial Colorblindness

Racially color blind. A seemingly good idea, which has been missed used to hide racism. When I first hear the term, the context was treating people equally, no matter what their skin color was. This might have been an isolated indecent. Now people use it to invalidate the experiences of Non-Caucasians (PoC/People of Color). Or to claim their treatment of a person wasn’t racist.

Racial colorblindness it’s about how people treat or react to other people. But it should also be a person doing their best to recognize and neutralize all their racial biases. To identity why they react negatively when they see someone, and why they react positively. And removing that reaction, when the reaction isn’t just. To acknowledging other people’s cultures, and respecting them and their experiences. And accepting that others know their situation better then you do, or can. Or treating people with kindness, instead of suspicion. Basically not Othering people based on their skin tone.